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Characters: @jazz Location: Autobot Outpost Omega, The Roof Content Warnings: none Plot Summary: After discovering that he's carrying Prowl asks Jazz to meet him on the roof in order to share the news with his closest friend.
He was absolutely terrified. Not that it showed on his features as he looked out on what most would consider a wonderful view. His thoughts were all inward, his concentration on the news Ratchet had given him only hours ago. He'd been desperately trying to get ahold of Jazz since then, immediately choosing to tell the saboteur what was going on rather than have him find out some other way and jump to the wrong conclusion. Since the other hadn't answered him he'd waited then called again, given himself some time to come to terms with what was going on. But Jazz hadn't answered him, not the first day at all. Since he knew the other wasn't on a mission it worried him.
It was for the best the first day, since his processors had been so overwhelmed he would have made little since, but the second day he started calling every thirty minutes, going from calm to aggravated to concerned to outright panic as the day progressed. Still no answer. He left messages each time, especially as he considered everything that had to have happened for him to end up in this state and that the same thing could be happening to someone dear to his spark while he was helpless to do anything about it. It was unacceptable!
The third day, the day after he'd been to see Ratchet, each call had ended in his paranoid pleas for Jazz to come home. Since he'd done each of them from his office no one got to see their controlled tactical officer loose his senses very quickly. By the end of it all he'd just told Jazz to meet him on the roof when he got the message, that he'd wait the entire day, that it was important and couldn't wait. And more, that if Jazz were in trouble, if the other didn't come back that evening, he'd be looking for him the next morning.
He had to remain calm, for the sake of the newspark, but it was hard.
The messages were insane! Prowl had never called him so many times, let alone left him messages each time. He just deleted the ones from the first day, and most of those from the second day- especially after the ones that were so mean and aggressive that Jazz just didn't want to deal with them. He had been spending... 'quality'... time with Barricade and didn't want to ruin those moments since he was actually enjoying himself.
The third day he had to part company with Barricade, informing him that there would be a search party if he didn't get back home. So he had left him with kisses and a promise to see him again as soon as he could, and left. Now on his way back home he decided to not bothering trying to call Prowl back. He could understand the other being worried but he had pretty much ran Jazz's comm system into the ground with all of the messages.
He was actually lucky that Jazz even had paid attention to the last one, really. Whatever it was that was so important had probably been the reason that Prowl had been calling him so he didn't want to be irritated at being paged so many times. So he needed the cool down time to just come to terms with 'Prowl is just worried and it's your fault for not answering'. Not like that mattered before, when he was gone for weeks at a time and Prowl never bothered wondering where he was- even once...
Once Jazz crossed the threshold to Autobase, Jazz transformed out of his alt mode and stretched. There were parts of him still sore from Barricade and he figured that a visit with Ratchet would be needed to help repair some of the marks the larger mech had left behind on him. But it was time to see Prowl and figure out just what was so important that it couldn't wait. He made his way to the roof, spotting his partner staring off into lala land.
"I would ask if it's a nice view, but that'd be rhetorical. Now what's the big idea blowin' up my comm system like that?" Jazz was still a bit annoyed but he didn't let it show in the tone he used with the tactician.
The second he heard the others voice a wave of relief swept through him, and before he could stop himself he'd crossed to the other mech and dropped his head down to Jazz's shoulder. He could hear his spark fussing at the other, so he stayed as he was for far longer than would be deemed appropriate. He had the odd sense that the newspark was talking to Jazz's spark in some way, like it had been worried for his partner as well.
"I'm sorry." He told him, voice low as he remained standing the way he was, hands limp at his side and doorwings fanned out in a neutral position. "Please don't be angry with me."
He finally straightened himself up, looking at the other with all the attention he could offer him. Usually he was distracted in filtering out the information his doorwings were always sending him, but now that didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was presenting this matter in a way that wouldn't cause Jazz to walk out of his life in a permanent fashion. He wasn't sure he'd deal with that very well. Jazz was in his routine too far, was too close to his spark.
"I received some....interesting news from Ratchet when I went to see him about the issues I told you about."
When Prowl came close Jazz stood his ground, prepared for a million questions ranging to where he was to why didn't he answer as well as the full run down of protocols that he didn't follow being out as long as he was. This was a normal thing to expect from the tactician and usually Jazz would just stand there and listen to him ramble on. That he was ready for and prepared a list of snappish combacks and complaints to give back.
What he wasn't expecting was the apology and the sudden lay of his helm on his shoulder. No, that was new, and his lack of bracing for that was shown by the slight stumble he gave in that direction with the new weight which he quickly straightened up. He stood there, feeling the sting in his spark from Prowl's own giving him a good chewing out, in which his shamed spark fled to the deeper section of his chamber. Though there was something odd about the pulse. It was almost as if there was a secondary beat there, like idle, distant chatter. Odd.
He didn't get to ask about it before Prowl moved away and informed him of having news from Ratchet. That BETTER have not been what the tactician had been bothering him about! He'd march right on back out if it were. Surely a note from the doctor wasn't worth calling him to the point of insanity over! Unless he was going offline... but Jazz knew his spark was strong so that wasn't the case.
That look he gave him, though? That was a little uncomfortable and he shifted from one pede to the other. The scratches and dents on his frame certainly wouldn't go unnoticed with the way the other was fixated on him. Jazz cleared his throat and vented, folding his servos behind his helm as he backed up a step then turned around and walked away some.
"Ah, news. What's so interestin' about what Ratchet has to say?"
He did notice the marks on the other mech, and had a pretty good idea what had caused them given where they were on Jazz's frame, but he chose not to address that issue. It was none of his business what Jazz did with his personal life. It did make him wonder if this lover was someone important or just another fling. He didn't have the courage to ask.
Prowl tried to just say it, simple and direct, but his vocalizer actually fritzed out on him the first time he tried it. He rebooted it then tried again, this time reaching forward absently so that his fingers barely intertwined with Jazz's. "I..." He vented, spark starting to whine since it had missed Jazz and wanted this to be over so that things would go back to normal. Or as normal as they always were.
After a moment he found he had to face this head on. Jazz would understand or he wouldn't. It wasn't Prowl's fault that something had happened, and if Jazz couldn't accept that to be true then...his spark whined louder at him.
"Most likely someone tampered with my memory banks. All the symptoms were enough that Ratchet wanted to check my spark." He didn't know why, but he was starting to shake slightly, pain starting up from his chassis. "He told me that...he found..." Primus why was this so hard? "I'm carrying."
He ended up just blurting it out helplessly. "I'm carrying."
"Really, Prowl, I don't see what's so important about carryin'." He shrugged some and turned his helm away. "Though lemme tell ya about- wait, what?" Jazz jerked his helm back to face Prowl again. "WAIT. What now?"
Jazz hadn't registered what Prowl was saying the first time. Instead he had to repeat it to himself, rewind, then try again to figure out just what the tactician meant. Carrying? As in, he was a carrier. As in a sparkling. As in Prowl was carrying a sparkling. Jazz yanked his servo away from the tactician and took a step back, staring at him blankly. He was silent, even in his spark that refused to respond to the calls Prowl's own was demanding from him. He had to get his thoughts together.
Which meant that he was going to be doing a lot of gestures with his servos. It was just the way he talked when he was excited or trying to get his point across.
"W-wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. You're... like, you mean a sparklin', yeah? Tiny spark? In your chamber? Lil' guy that needs care to grow and that kinda stuff, right? That... That's GREAT, Prowl! Congrats!" Once he was done he cleared his throat and offered a half smile, as awkward as it was. Guess things finally were hitting him, though. "So... you're bonded then, right? Cause sparklings can't be made unless it's a bonded pair. I guess I should congratulate you on that too? It's really great that you got that lil guy though, Prowl. It means a lot."
Jazz smiled then, less awkward this time though there was a definite look of sadness on his faceplate. Even without optics, Jazz could drop his poker face at any time and really show a lot of emotion with his frame. The way his shoulders dropped and he wrapped his arms protectively over his chassis? It was a method of shying away from the tactician and separating them, like he was trying to keep his spark from putting out the emotions it was. Though the pain was not able to be hidden.
"First sparklin' created on Earth. It's big news, Prowl. Ya outta be proud, man." He wasn't going to ask about the sire. He didn't want to know. Not like he had room to talk considering the amount of flings he had around Autobase.
He felt the panic hit him when Jazz started talking, when he started congratulating him about it all and saying that he was bonded. The other really didn't get it, and he had to make him understand. He shying away, pulling away, it caused a shriek of pain to tear through his spark and stagger him to the point that he had to catch himself on the railing nearby to keep from going down.
"Jazz!" He barked the others designation at him, optics dimming substantially as the newspark started wailing from inside his chamber. It could feel his distress and was reacting like all young creatures did, by crying out for the reassurance of its caretaker. He couldn't help his little one, he could barely help himself at this point.
"You are not hearing what I'm saying. I am missing part of my memory, and it regards the newspark. I am not and have never been bonded, nor even been involved with another in a physical manner. Ever. Someone..." He was having a hard time speaking it out loud.
"Proud? I am terrified." He finally broke optic contact, drawing himself up straight even as he crossed his arms against his chassis protectively in much the same manner as Jazz had. "I don't have a mate, I don't have memory of this newspark being conceived. And now you..."
His grip on the railing shifted since now he was leaning against it so that he could shield his chassis with both arms. "I had hoped you understood that you remain the closest individual to my spark, Jazz. If anyone was going to be mine it would most likely be you. But this...I can't even think straight on the matter. I can barely get through a normal personal interaction, how am I supposed to give a newspark what it needs? There is no mate, no sire in my memory for my newspark, so am I to manage this matter on my own?"
Prowl's spark was crying out inside of him, pain splintering through him again and making his little one wail helplessly. "I called you, kept calling, because I didn't know who else to turn to. I'm sorry if I drew you away from something more important, but...I needed you with me. The entire time Ratchet is talking to me about this I kept wishing you were there with me, so that the blow would be less. And now?"
He vented, looking out over the horizon, feeling all sorts of confused and unhappy and just altogether hurt. "I swear I have no mate." His doorwings drooped as he dropped his head down, curling in protectively. "Please, whatever else you do, don't leave me to do this alone."
The saboteur almost didn't hear his designation being said. He had been in his own world, his visor dimming as he processed everything that he had been told. It would have been amusing how much three little words could have thrown his world in to chaos if it wasn't so damn terrifying instead. When he did manage to hear his designation being called his visor lit back up and he came back to the now, listening to everything that his partner was telling him.
Somehow, Jazz was focused on another sound. Just under the verbal pleas from the tactician, he could hear a faint wail. It was odd, almost seeming like it was coming from the back of his helm somewhere in the distance. It was a hollow sound, echoing within his head, and though soft audibly, it still demanded attention. He could feel his spark being pulled at, like the sound was affecting it directly, and though Jazz's processor tried to shut down and tune out everything being said to him after 'I'm carrying'? He couldn't.
He wanted to be closer. He wanted to be consoling.
So he was. Or at least he tried.
"Shut up," he said finally, silently appearing beside Prowl after he had finished talking. "For starters, get yourself together. You're lettin' yourself get all frantic over nothin' and that ain't a healthy place to be. You're gonna make your spark weak doin' that and then you'll be useless to that newspark. It needs ya to be strong, so snap outta it! You're bein' dumb." Jazz vented some and scooted in close, foribly easing his way under Prowl's arm so he could get close to his chassis. He wasn't going to let Prowl fight him on this, not when his spark was being pulled so firmly to try and help the two sparks that were in so much distress.
Jazz placed a servo on Prowl's chassis, then, and leaned in close. At this distance he could clearly hear the wailing from the new spark and his started to send out a pulse to the pair. Love, attention, comfort... that was the emotion those pulses carried. Then Jazz began to sing, a soft tune aimed to sooth the little one enough to ease the wailing. Jazz rarely sang to begin with- even less since the war had started- so while it was a treat to hear, it had other needs. He wanted the new spark to hear his voice, know the sense of his spark so that it would have the comfort of two spark beats. When the song was done he looked up at Prowl and rubbed his thumb over where his servo lay.
"I don't care if it's got a sire or not, Prowl. Even if ya don't know how it came to be... don't think about that, yeah? You'll start to hate it if ya do. This lil guy needs positive vibes. It's a miracle. A special little gift from Primus. If ya need me to act as the sire for it, I will, so don't worry about that, yeah?"
He couldn't really help the repeated come aparts he seemed to have in Jazz's presence. It was like all his carefully constructed calm just left him any time something was wrong and he was with Jazz. Although, he'd always said Jazz made everything better when something bothered him. Not that he'd ever told Jazz that, but still. "The mood swings are getting to me." Which was the truth.
He didn't protest Jazz getting in close to him, only giving a soft grumble at the handling he was receiving. But as soon as the other was tucked in against his frame his shaking stopped and the newspark started calming down. It sniffled and started tugging at him, using the bond that had already formed to try and get him to soothe it too. He wanted to, but he had no idea what he was supposed to say or do or feel. He was overwhelmed with it all, out of his depth.
He wasn't sure what to make of Jazz's reaction to his break down, just that it was what he needed in this moment. It was only a moment before he secured an arm around Jazz's frame, the other laying itself over the top of the hand laying on his chassis, keeping him there. His spark started to stabilize with Jazz there, as if there could be no wrong with the world as long as they were together. But it was the singing, something he hadn't heard before, that drew him in. His helm fell forward so that he almost touched it to the top of Jazz's, wanting to somehow be closer without breaking the moment for what it was.
"I don't hate it, no matter what happened for it to come to be. I just...what bothers me is that the one who did this is still loose somewhere on this base. That someone else could be in danger and I can do nothing to keep that from happening." It was always about the safety of those around him.
The newspark cooed, startling Prowl from his dark thoughts. Special huh? He thought so, but he was still in the stage of wait and see. "Jazz?" He snagged the other by the chin and pulled till he looked at him. For a moment he just regarded him intently and then gathered the others free hand to rise it up and kiss the palm. "Thank you.
"Prowl. Shh. If there was someone like that 'round base, I woulda found him. Someone would have found'im. Ya know there ain't a thing that can be hidden to these guys. So for now? Just focus on yourself and that sweet lil' newspark ya got in your chamber. That's gonna need to be the most important thing in your world. And I hope ya allow me to act as its sire. It doesn't gotta know otherwise."
Jazz let a sinking feeling pass in his spark, though only kept it brief as he knew that he had two other sparks that were feeding off such vibes. Even though Jazz and Prowl weren't bonded, they shared something similar enough to it that he wouldn't be able to hide much from him. Now if their emotions were being passed back and forth? There would definitely be strong ones at the moment, especially when the tactician tilted his helm up so he had to look at him. Jazz just stared, confused and for once not knowing what to do... but then Prowl took his servo and kissed the palm. Here he had just been admitted to that he was the closest thing to Prowl's spark- outside of the newspark, of course- and he still seemed hesitant on moving forward.
Okay, he had enough of this.
Jazz turned his servo so that he could grasp Prowl's and pulled it away from his lips. He leaned in then, stealing a kiss from the tactician. He didn't care if Prowl had to get away from him after that- and honestly he expected some terrible backlash after this- but he didn't care. He would continue the kiss as long as he was able, staying close to him as his spark started to throb in its chamber and sing out towards the two sparks, especially to Prowl's, in a sort of courtship.
"Alright." He believed absolute in Jazz's skills, that had never been something he hid from the other. Beyond that he trusted Jazz, knew that the other would never betray him or the Autobots. These were things that were not to be questioned, and anyone that did question it could contend with his wrath on the spy's behalf. That Jazz wanted to be part of the newspark's life, without questioning it, told him that his belief in the spy was not misplaced. Really, he'd feared Jazz would simply be rid of him for this, but instead? Jazz had stepped up just like he should have known he would. Paranoia seemed to be a common symptom with this carrying business.
"I think I would like that very much. Better for it to be you." And he meant that.
His hesitance was really part of who he was and how he'd been raised. His ability to deal with personal matters, as proven by his recent paranoid rant and fears, were limited. He had always relied on Jazz to lead the way in such matters, taking his cues from how the saboteur handled things.
He thought he'd been doing alright, kissing Jazz's hand since the other had done so to him before, but when his hand was pulled away doorwings went high. Before he could apologize for overstepping his bounds with his partner the other had moved in to kiss him on the mouth. He really didn't know what to make of the motion, but apparently he had some instinct that did.
He palmed the side of the others helm and shifted so that he could deepen the kiss, tucking the other close then shoving forward once so that he could put Jazz between himself and the railing. His spark wasn't just singing this time, it was rejoicing. It was responding to Jazz's spark the way it was meant to. After all, they were extremely compatible sparks.
He probably would have kept the kiss going until he was stopped if the newspark hadn't decided to voice its opinion in a loud giggling. It startled the tactician enough that he stepped back, reality crashing back in on him. He stepped back, hands up and palm out towards Jazz as his doorwings fanned out behind him. He realized his intakes were working far too hard, and that embarrassed him more.
"I...ah..." He dipped his head to one side. "Did I hurt you?"
What Jazz had expected wasn't what happened, and he was more than pleased with this. He parted his lips when the kiss deepened, taking in the taste of the other mech. Their positions shifted but Jazz didn't care. He had instead made the move to pull Prowl even closer to him, lifting his servos up to grasp at his partner as he felt his vents open to take in more air...
Then something interrupted- a small noise that made his spark shudder. Prowl stepped back, broke the moment they were having. Jazz was confused and concerned that something had happened. He then registered what he had sensed and he looked down towards where Prowl's spark was. He offered a smile and leaned in close, placing a kiss just over where the chamber was.
"I hear ya, lil' one. Recharge. Your carrier and I wanna have some time, okay? I'll sing ya some more songs later." He tapped on the spot lightly then kissed it again and once more looked up at Prowl. "As for you? Ya didn't do anythin' wrong. Come'ere."
He grabbed him by the servos and gently guided him back to how they were. Jazz leaned against the railing and replaced Prowl's servos to where they had been before it had been broken. Then he offered another kiss, though it was a tease at first. His visor dimmed as he nipped at Prowl's bottom lip then kissed him again. There was a hunger wrapped up in that kiss, one that begged Prowl to not pull away again.
In the meanwhile, his spark was singing once more to Prowl's spark, resuming the courtship melody that it had been putting out before. It fluttered in its chamber, dancing around as it begged to be displayed for Prowl's, to be deemed worthy enough of a bond as it continued with its strong song.
He put his hands down when Jazz leaned in to address the newspark, still very much embarrassed over his slip in control. The giggling stopped, but the sudden pulses of the simple emotions of a very young spark flowed through him. Affection, comfort, joy, simple amusement, and especially love. "I think the little one likes you." He offered, almost shyly. He was a very confident mech, except for when things got personal. Then...well he usually closed himself off.
He wasn't given time to close off as was his habit, and he tried to let Jazz lead him. He was uncertain, in a place where he had no experience despite his age. He hadn't done anything wrong, Jazz said. But that didn't answer the question he'd asked. Still, he let the other nip at him for a few minutes, feeling a trembling starting through his frame the longer he let it carry on before he simply couldn't tolerate it any longer.
Prowl kept Jazz close, just ended the intimate exchange, resting their helms together. His spark was pleading with him to just go with it, to let Jazz lead them as he always had. Jazz had never lead him astray, and he doubted the other would start to now. But...
His intakes were still working too hard, but that part he didn't mind. Jazz wasn't hurting him, the actions were pleasant, but he didn't know how to process them. "Jazz..." He simply had to tell him the truth. "I can't...I don't know..." He vented, still held close and tightening his grip on the other so he knew he wasn't being rejected. "You turn me inside out, and still I have no idea what I'm doing."
Jazz let the moment pass between them, not wanting to push Prowl to the point where he got scared and backed away. He was doing so well, allowing himself to go further than Jazz imagined that he would ever let it get and he was so proud of him for that. There was just a part of Jazz that wanted more... NEEDED more.. and yet he had to take it one step at a time. Prowl was trying, and now Jazz had to ease Prowl into letting him lead.
He had continued to kiss and nip at his partner's mouth for as long as Prowl didn't stop him. When it came to the point where the two of them just had their helms against the other, Jazz stood there and let himself be held. Jazz recognized the signs of the overworked intakes, the trembles. Slowly he started to rub at the other's side with one servo while the other lifted and was calmly placed on Prowl's chest.
It had finally clicked with him what was going on, why Prowl must have been so hesitant. His reaction to his frame's odd behaviors was enough to draw Jazz's attention, but his words? That definitely told him for sure what was going on. Right away he went about being as gentle as he could. His spark, however? It was a different story. At this point the pulses had only gotten stronger and singing louder, which was almost painful to him since it was wanting to move things along a lot quicker than he was allowing.
Jazz was smiling, if just to give him reassurance. He leaned in close, bringing his lips to Prowl's audial's. When he spoke, his voice was soft, barely over a whisper, as he did what he could to entice his partner further. "Prowl... you can. Don't think 'bout it. Just let your frame move. Relax... vent... stay calm. Don't fight..." He pecked his cheek. "I'll show ya. Ya can trust me." This was part of Jazz's skill, and the need to display his emotions with his frame. He would show Prowl what he needed to know but Jazz would have to be told that it was okay. "Ya don't gotta feel embarrassed or ashamed. It's alright. You're special to me, Prowl. As long as ya say it's okay, we can help ya get over this."
Aug 13, 2020 16:26:13 GMT
Sept 14, 2019 18:53:42 GMT
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