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Family was one word for him alright. If it weren't for the drinks however, Spacewarp's spark would've been aching. Then again, she was in such pleasant company, enough to mitigate the feeling for the moment. She folded her hands together in a rather civil fashion, preparing to explain. "Indeed, my sparkling; or, he was about two million stellar cycles ago. Said I'm not allowed to call him that anymore."
She paused to consider the connotations of her words, making sure to clarify herself, "Don't worry... he's not dead, just absent. Meaning I can say whatever I want about him without repercussion." Spacewarp punctuated her statement with a hearty sip of Engex, having now knocked back two full glasses.
It was Silentsky's turn to listen intently. But she couldn't help the frown that came to her face plates as Spacewarp gave a little background about Airwalker, and how he seemed less than thrilled to be called Spacewarp's sparkling. That certainly had to sting her companion to her core, but with the engex flowing in their systems, she seemed to be ignoring such a thing. And Silentsky had no intention to press for such a confirmation, since it seemed more than enough to hear all that.
"I'm sure he still cares about you Spacewarp, he just doesn't want to openly admit it." Silentsky tried to be on the positive side, but even she gave room for doubt at her statement. Instead, she had merely reached over to grab her glass, taking another long swig of her drink.
She gently twirled the glass in her hand, stirring what remained of her second glass. She wasn't quite sure what to say on the topic of family, mostly because she never really had any aside from her undercover unit. "I wish I could offer any family background but...I got none to really offer. I've never had a family in the traditional sense." Silentsky admitted after a minute or two had passed.
Spacewarp pulled the cy-gar from her lips, holding it pinched between two of her digits, expelling smoke as she did so. Silent didn't know Airwalker like she did, which was probably how she'd been drawn to such a conclusion. "Don't get me wrong, I love him dearly. But, he sometimes acts a bit bigger than his wingspan, if you know what I mean." Arrogance was in no short supply as far as her sparkling was concerned, but keeping in mind which two bots sired and carried him, it was fairly clear why.
The elder Decepticon took her compatriot's words in like a vacuum, fully understanding how she felt. "It's good to learn that your friends and allies can act as family, in lieu of actual kin." Spacewarp paused to fill up her third glass of the evening, lighting up a second cy-gar in the meantime. "Sometimes your kin don't deserve you at all. I know Sideswipe didn't deserve a motorhead like me for a sister, for one."
By now Spacewarp could feel the small buzz at the back of her head, albeit only gently. She mentally weighed her next words carefully, simulating the myriad of responses she could receive. None of them pleased her that much, so she reached for the bottle of liquid courage. Setting aside her drink for the moment, Spacewarp took a heavy swig from the bottle itself. The Decepticon clunked the bottle back down, and looked Silent in the optics, "I have nothing in this universe, Silentsky. I have no friends, nobody that knows my name, no position, and no reason. My history is gone. You..." she paused, taking a moment to pinch the bridge of her nose before continuing, "You don't deserve to not have family."
"Sounds like he would fit to our Starscream's expectations in this universe. Or he'd feel some pride knowing someone could be named his unofficial heir." Silentsky remarked, finishing what remained of her second glass. Once Spacewarp had poured herself more engex, Silentsky soon followed with filling a third for herself as well. She was pushing it with too much of it, but at this rate she probably wouldn't be leaving with much sobriety to begin with.
"If we hadn't trusted one another in such a way Spacewarp, we wouldn't have been effective at our job." Silentsky pointed out. She could still recall some of the close calls her unit had from behind the scenes, how a few of them had to act swiftly when one of their own was compromised at any point. Such memories made her closer her optics for a moment, taking a large gulp of her drink as she pushed aside the pain she felt for the loss of such close companions, ones she had always considered family.
When she heard the clunk of the bottle, Silentsky opened her optics, finding herself locking gazes with the larger flier. At first she wasn't quite sure where Spacewarp was going with her words, wondering if maybe she had a little too much engex. But, that seemed quite unlikely. But it was the final words that had Silentsky staring at Spacewarp with wide optics, left without knowing what to say in the least at what Spacewarp might be getting at. Unless she was reading far too much into Spacewarp's words, "Spacewarp, what are you trying to say?" Silentsky asked more so to confirm her own thoughts of just what Spacewarp had said just now.
Spacewarp really had to dive off the deep end, didn't she. There was no way to easily transition to the subject, she simply pulled her wings up and went for it. Speaking of wings, Spacewarp's just happened to spring up a bit more at the realization of what she'd just said; she was embarrassed to say the least. Silent's blank gaze was the worst of all, stabbing through straight to her spark. As a precaution from doing anything even more hasty, Spacewarp slowly pushed the bottle back off to the side.
She only had herself to blame, what with setting up the family/friends comparison; that, and the heat of the moment. There was nothing Spacewarp could do or say to back out now, and still hold her grace. The Decepticon barred her arms across her chest, leaning over the table, gaze cast nervously off to the side. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to make you uncomfortable. It's just, ever since I arrived here, you're the only person who I've felt I had a genuine connection with."
Silentsky turned her own gaze away. She still couldn’t find the proper words for the situation. For the moment, she was doing what she did best, remaining silent for the time being as she mulled over what had just been said.
But, in hindsight, Spacewarp was right. Not just for herself, but also for the younger seeker; Silentsky has never been the best at getting close to anyone except very rarely. Now here she was, sitting with a fellow seeker, feeling they had indeed connected enough to warrant them sharing a few drinks and talking about their pasts. Perhaps Silentsky has just taken this situation wrong and once more made the worst reaction possible, causing her to mentally shake her head at herself for not thinking of approaching this better.
Racing thoughts finally settling, Silentsky turned to her fellow seeker and scooted her chair closer to Spacearp, enough she could reach over, placing a hand gently on her arm. “Don’t feel bad Spacewarp, I was just caught off guard by your words.” Silentsky admitted, wings going up as her expression turned thoughtful, “I would by lying if I didn’t agree. I have never warmed up to someone so fast, not since before the war here in our universe.” A shy smile soon came to her lips, “I am just not the best at showing or better controlling my emotions; how I reacted could have been better.” She apologized.
Silent's words were enough to give her sufficient pause. Perhaps she hadn't ruined the situation as badly as she'd previously thought. Her panic slowly receding, Spacewarp was just in time to notice her companion shifting closer to her. Though she might've only been using it as a means to convey her slight embarrassment, Silent's smile hit her like a sunbeam. Without so much as needing to think about it, Spacewarp's first instinct was to tenderly place her own hand over Silent's.
It was strange to feel in such a way again, Spacewarp felt like she was still with Treadbolt. Not due to any similarities between Silent and Treadbolt however, they couldn't be any more different. No, it was the feeling they'd both given her, something she'd been starved of too often.
A moment passed between them before Spacewarp returned with a smile of her own, "It's alright. I don't hold it against you."
Seeing Spacewarp's mood improving, Silentsky couldn't help feeling some deep relief. Despite her unwarranted reaction, the situation hadn't gotten any worse, which was a good thing in her book. Honestly, socialization and social situations in general were always times that they could either go without incident or go south real fast. Her often lack of showing emotions, silent tendencies, and not really being one for long conversations tended to backfire on her.
Letting her hand remain resting on Spacewarp's arm, and not wanting to break the tender contact just yet, Silentsky turned her head and grabbed her drink. "Here's to avoiding a social disaster, and an unexpected friendship." Silentsky said with a brighter smile, a genuine one and her tone of voice on a normal level than her usual whisper. She didn't know if it was the engex or just her relaxed mood, but she felt no need to keep that whisper, but actually just...talk. Though, she wondered if call this a friendship was accurate, and that it wasn't something more developing...
Pushing this thought aside for the time being, Silentsky finished her third cup in a single gulp, feeling the engex beginning to kick in for sure. Her mind was becoming sluggish and foggy, the smaller femme already on the brink of simply being tipsy to full on drunk. "Probably not the best idea to have a fourth cup," She mused, but nevertheless poured herself one more.
Take what you can get, Spacewarp. Don't get greedy, now. She retrieved her glass albeit with a bit less finesse than before, yet held it in her hand nevertheless. Spacewarp didn't return with a hearty quip or somber reply, simply opting to take another sip silently. This evening was nice, why ruin it with too many words? Silentsky's smile bounced off Spacewarp like a beam of light striking a mirror. She couldn't help but return with one of her own. It felt odd going through these motions again, but Spacewarp had to admit she was better at being the mirror.
Spacewarp's crimson optics rose upon witnessing her drinking buddy down another glass of engex in one go, knowing full well that the smaller femme should for all intents and purposes be totally inebriated at this point. It was also damn cute, if she had to say so herself. Although she'd already had far more to drink than Silent, it was now Spacewarp who lagged behind in terms of pace. Behind a guarded expression was she surprised to see Silent still thirsty for more, as if a twinge of pride bubbled up through her spark.
"Why not? I like hearing you talk at full volume," Spacewarp responded, maybe smiling a bit too much more than what she anticipated.
"Just use to talking quiet, so use to being stealthy." Silentsky murmured, as if a part of her knew it was...strange. Most Cybertronians would find her habit weird, maybe even think something was wrong with her, but it all came down to habit. It had been drilled into her that sometimes quietness was your friend, and she had probably taken that more to spark after the loss of her mentor and father figure.
But in this moment, Silentsky's real voice was shining through, and with downing half of her fourth round of engex she didn't quite care. Her smile became faint but still held a warm, relaxed air, the smaller femme actually leaning over to rest her chin on Spacewarp's arm next to where her own hand rested. The engex seemed to be bringing out a more emboldened Silentsky. "With you, I can make an exception though. That's if you like hearing my real voice so much, Captain." Silentsky told her, tone having an affectionate edge to it.
There might've been a problem with Spacewarp's energon intake level, because she could've sworn Silentsky was actually resting her chin atop her arm, a visual hallucination maybe. After a few moments of careful observation, Spacewarp came to the conclusion that this was real and she wasn't dreaming. Silent was an awfully bubbly drunk, as opposed to how loud and boisterous Spacewarp normally was in a similar state. Her words were practically melting through her armor at this rate. It had been a long while since anybody had spoken to her like this, and in hindsight she only now realized how much she missed it. Not barking orders bidirectionally at each other, just taking time to be close and intimate. It made her wish for happier times.
Then it hit her; she was terrible at being forward about her feelings. She'd felt the same way about Treadbolt, but luckily for her, Treadbolt had been overtly forward about everything. She'd scooped Spacewarp off her feet in the middle of a bar, just to tell her she thought she was pretty. Spacewarp would never dream of doing something so bold, but she couldn't deny what she was feeling. Outwardly though, the Decepticon was calm, still gently smiling. Her voice was much, much softer than usual, "I'd like that, you sound beautiful like this."
"Then your wish is my command." Silentsky told her with a small grin forming, the smaller femme gently nuzzling Spacewarp's arm. Any other time, Silentsky would not be so bold nor so quick to show such affectionate actions, content to just enjoy small talk or casual conversation. Yet, with the engex flowing, she was letting go of her inhibitions, acting in ways that would take months for her to act upon.
Finally leaning away from Spacewarp and letting her hand fall back to the table, Silentsky turned back to her still half-full glass. It definitely wasn't a good idea to finish the rest, considering she was already inebriated as it was, but her thought process was that it would be rude if she didn't at least finish the glass she had. Gulping down what remained of her glass, shuddering from the sensation and her wings briefly fluttering before settling again. "But, I suppose I have taken up much of your time as it is Spacewarp." Silentsky told her, turning half-lidded optics towards the larger Seeker, but her words slurred slightly as she spoke, pushing herself to unsteady pedes.
Silentsky was completely and utterly blitzed at this point, and Spacewarp wasn't too far behind at this rate. They were both going to have a long nap and wake up feeling like hell after this, for sure. Entranced by her companion's affectionate display, Spacewarp had actually forgotten about the rest of her drink, now sitting idly on the table. It was such a strange yet welcome experience, to be the center of somebody else's affection again. There were of course more traditional means of expressing one's affection for another besides rubbing your cheek against your mate's arm like an animal, though at this point Spacewarp wasn't all too picky.
Spacewarp looked back at Silent longingly as she pushed herself up from the table, having started to enjoy things a bit more. The inebriated seeker quickly stretched out to lightly grip Silentsky's shoulder, though not to steady herself. Spacewarp pushed herself up by bracing her offhand on the table itself, not wanting to accidentally knock her friend over in a half-drunken haze. She was a great deal steadier than her lightweight drinking buddy, though not without the occasional tilt or momentary loss of balance.
"Wait, wait..." she stammered, standing up. There was a part of her that felt she hadn't expressed herself enough to Silent, which happened to be the part placing both hands on the younger seeker's shoulders. "I had a good time tonight, Silent," Spacewarp remarked, subtly swaying from side to side at this point.
Silentsky had barely made two unsteady steps before she felt Spacewarp's hand on her shoulder, causing the smaller seeker to pause to look back towards her drinking companion. She figured Spacewarp was stopping her for the sake of continuing their conversation, not that it would be much of a conversation so much as a drunken exchange of possible non-sense. But instead, she found Spacewarp standing as well, swaying slightly as she got to her own feet, albeit far steadier than Silentsky was probably feeling.
Honestly, if not for Spacewarp's hand on her shoulder she probably would be far too unbalanced to have stayed in place.
Reaching up one of her hands to rest upon the larger Seeker's, now both presently resting on either shoulder, Silentsky gave a drunken, crooked smile. "So did I Spacewarp, thank you again for the invitation." Silentsky thanked her, optics following the slight swaying with her green optics. "You should probably get to bed, you look about ready to fall over." Not that Silentsky was much better. Quite frankly, she was far more likely to fall over than her friend.
She may have very visibly been swaying, but Silent's comment gave Spacewarp pause. She turned to gaze down at her body, as if she was confirming it was still there. Then she took a look back at Silent, and compared. It was painfully obvious who the heavyweight was here, even with Spacewarp's subtle tilting. Primus, that smile was cute in all it's broken, sloppy glory. She felt privileged having been able to witness it in person, wondering who else had ever seen it, if anyone at all. A dozen other unconnected, drunken thoughts poured through Spacewarp's head, feeling that a good night's sleep was in order after this was over.
"I'm still fully cognizant of how drunk I am, Silent," Spacewarp added, ever so slightly slurring her words. "I don't think you can make it out that door without toppling." Although it may have sounded like a jest on her behalf, Spacewarp really didn't want to see a drunk Silent stumbling and falling through the halls of the Nemesis. Such displays never went well with superiors, or anyone outside of the special occasion for that matter.