Only You

[Deleted]

He gave a small smile. Strongarm even had bits of him within it seemed. His small medical team at Delphi had been much the same way about getting under his plating. "Sounds like me with my old team at Delphi." There was a small chuckle before that sad smile. "Sounds like they're really struggling with medicine other than your help."

Pharma himself was quite proud. Ratchet had kept up what he was taught, and Strongarm still remembered what she learned from being with Ratchet during so many lessons.

"I'd love to. I'd honestly love to, really. I miss being able to teach. I miss passing on my genius to new generations."

[Ratchet]

The more that Ratchet thought about it, the more he realized he didn't know all that much about Pharma's team at Delphi.  He didn't feel that now was the best time to ask about it though, especially when he had to keep their talks of Delphi to a minimum.  He knew talking about the times Pharma taught him were fine, knowing that that had been a bright spot for him, but anything else he didn't want to chance.

Pharma had suffered enough, and there was no point in making things worse by bringing him those reminders.

"I'm glad that you do, though I wouldn't have faulted you if you hadn't.  I remember when I graduated, I wanted to stay and teach with you.. but I had to go back to Cybertron, and then with the war..  I never got that chance."

Ratchet reached for Pharma's servo, grabbing it lightly.  "When this is all over.. I want to make a clinic of my own.  It doesn't have to be anything big, but.. somewhere those in need can go without having to worry about not having enough to pay me back.  I don't mind taking up an apprentice or something, but.. would you want to work at a clinic with me one day?"

[Deleted]

Even if he were to answer much, Pharma would be deliberately vague. He didn't like to speak of Delphi. Nor did he like to speak of his team. Of what could have--or would have--happened.

"War ruins everything. If I had my way, I'd remake a universe so that war could not exist or even be sustainable." His tone seemed eerie and faraway for a moment. It could have almost been certainly brushed off as trauma.

"I...would. One day. When this war is over and when...some mecha who did terrible things are gone...gone from this world..." His voice trailed off.

[Ratchet]

Ratchet blinked in confusion at Pharma's statement.  It had seemed like such an odd thing to say, but he didn't think too much on it.  Changing the past so that these events would have been wonderful.  However, if they changed the past, the good things that had actually come out of the war would never have happened either.

"I.. wish things were back to the way they were too, but even so.. there has been some good to come out of it.  The friends we've made.. the satisfaction you now have of seeing me interested in someone.."  Ratchet chuckled a little, smiling in an attempt to relax Pharma a bit.  There was only so much he could do, especially after everything Pharma had been through..  "I just wish things had.. gone better for you.  I.. don't mean to make it sound like the war's been a good thing.  It hasn't been.  I just mean.. that there's some mechs and femmes we're friends with now that.. we wouldn't have otherwise met due to the castes and such.."

He frowned once more at Pharma's words, reaching out to take one of the jet's servos into his own, squeezing it reassuringly.  "One day.. we will.  We'll have that clinic and.. teach others who want to become medics of their own volition..  I never want any of this to happen to you ever again.  I swear I'll never let it happen again.."

[Deleted]

His optics seemed to hold a strange sadness. "I...suppose that's true. I...sometimes forget that war tries to bring us closer together than ever too. And it all started with an upstart miner." His voice seemed to trail quieter with the last few words. He seemed to almost stare to his steely blue hands for a moment.

He then vented. "Not to anyone. I'll teach them that it's okay to say no. And that it's okay to run if they feel like they're in danger. Not just stay and suffer in silence."

[Ratchet]

"It... certainly did."  Ratchet grimaced at that statement, looking away for a moment.  There had been a short time where Megatron, or Megatronus as he'd called himself in his earlier days, had been considered a friend.  He and Orion had sought justice for all mechs and femmes, but somewhere along the way Megatron's visions of what he felt had been right grew twisted.  Unjust.  It would be a lie to say everything the Autobots had done had been for the greater good, but at the end of the day Megatron had to be stopped.

If that made the Autobots the good guys, it would just have to do.

However, there was a part of Ratchet that was happy.  If this whole war hadn't broken out, aside from a potential chance of having to fix him up as a medic on Cybertron, Ratchet may not have ever met the one Wrecker he had a crush on at this very moment.  If only he had the guts to actually tell him.

That grimace of his soon faltered, switching to a smile as he listened to Pharma's words.  "No..  They shouldn't have to be afraid.  It's not cowardly to run to save yourself.  It may seem self-centered to anyone else, but it's your life.  If you were to offline in the crossfire because you stayed when someone else made you feel running was the coward's option.. well, it'd be the end of you.  You wouldn't get to continue your story.  I guess.. the world really does revolve around ourselves if you look at it that way."  The medic chuckled a little bit, not even thinking of things in that perspective until he'd spoken them.

Hard to be selfish when you really are the center of your own world, but then again.. it had always made Ratchet happier to keep everyone around him happy.

[Deleted]

It hurt, thinking about it. Megatron had once been a friend to them, and they thought he was honestly actually going to be fighting for freedom. But freedom for or from what at this point? Freedom from Functionism? Freedom for those of lower castes? Freedom to be who they wanted to be? Pharma wasn't so sure anymore. "I'm...I wish that we could have nipped it in the bud before it had gotten too far." Too far? Where was that line crossed? Grindcore? Messatine? Megatron's secret police, the merry band of drugged-up murderers?

Pharma wasn't sure where too far was. He didn't trust himself with the line of too far.

"I wish someone had once told me that it wasn't cowardly to run to save oneself." He felt heat rising in his chest and his emotions starting to spill over. "I think that's why I resent the New Institute back in the day. They were the ones who told me it was cowardly to run. Probably because I was the only medic they had left. The one who knew empurata. The one who knew how to treat mnemosurgeons. The one who...they knew they could manipulate. Primus I'm so stupid..." He gave a broken laugh. "I'm so fragging stupid..."

[Ratchet]

"I wish that we had too.." Ratchet sighed, making a bit of a face. "But at the same time, how were we to know how bad things would have gotten. Even if Megatron didn't directly tell his followers what to do, they still caused so much destruction in the name of the Decepticon cause.. It was too much for anyone to deal with, and we did what we could." At least that's what Ratchet had kept telling himself.

Optimus had tried. He did all that he could before the Senate and Megatron was not having any of it, especially when they gave Optimus the Matrix in the process. It may not have been the desired outcome, but it had certainly been better than letting it fall into Megatron's servos..

"Pharma.. you aren't stupid. You did what you thought was right for you at the time. Just because you know those practices doesn't make you necessarily evil or good. It's what you decide to use that skill set for. I mean.. you once preformed a four way fuel pump transplant and were one of the donors at the same time! It's admirable and I honestly don't think I could ever develop that level of skill. That's skill we couldn't afford to lose. I just.. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you're someone worth admiring and looking up to."

Of course, he'd have no way of knowing of the incidents that had transpired at Delphi, but even so it didn't erase the mech's medical histories.